So, Piety-han's yer endgame, then. Ain't surprisin' to see other people makin' their way back to where they started.
[ he kinda gets it—it's part of why he never left his own god, after all. normally, he'd respect it... but his feelings toward ishi are kind of complicated right now. compartmentalizing has never been his strong suit.
all of that white noise in his brain clears, though, when he gives a quizzical look then takes ishi's hand in his own. ]
He always has been. I never intended to end this with anyone else.
[he needed merriment's ability to break curfew, though; fond as ishi is of him, he didn't mean to stay.
but he gives majima an apologetic look as he takes his hand, hesitating a moment.]
... I lost it in the fight with Luna. I don't know how it ended up where it did-- she may have been trying to use her ability to pin multiple deaths on me, I think-- but... that is the other thing I have been hiding from you.
I never expected to actually be able to hide it through that trial, much less long enough for someone to make me a replacement. There wasn't a way to explain without admitting how it was lost.
[ there's a lot to unpack, between the secrecy and the lies that have come to light. it's true that majima's own code of honor does not involve ending the life of other people... but in this case, what's the right call? does having a hand in murdering a murderer absolve one of any wrongdoing?
it's clear that he's doing a lot of thinking, but there's an almost surprising lack of tact when he breaks his silence and asks, ]
Is this sorta thing normal to ya 'cause you're a sword? 'Cause you were created with the intent to kill people?
[...right to the point, huh. ishi is quiet for several moments there, eyes fixed down, before he exhales a slow breath and speaks.]
... I am not sure I would call it normal for me, though it would be for most of us, yes. I hate killing-- I was enshrined for most of my existence, and was dedicated to healing, to cutting away what plagued those who visited the shrine. If it were possible to save everyone, if I had that sort of power... I wouldn't let anyone die.
[his brow furrows there.]
But neither can I deny what I am, or what I was made for. I hate killing, but I will do what is necessary; I have had to do so before coming here, as well. I've experienced war.
[ on the one hand, ishi actively betrayed majima's trust for his own personal goals. no matter how good his intentions were, the sword ultimately set the both of them up to fail.
on the other... majima cannot disparage him for staying true to his ideals, for doing what he believes in—in this case, the greater good—rather than what's "right." he could have easily said no and exposed ishi as soon as they had stepped behind the screen together. ]
I dunno what ya want me to say, Ishikiri-jisan.
[ at the very least, there is no bitterness in his voice. if anything, he just sounds... tired. ]
...there is nothing in particular I expect you to say, Majima-kun.
[ishi shakes his head, there, glancing back up to majima.]
I do not expect your trust-- I have not admitted all of this to you solely in hopes of gaining it back. That is all up to you, and I will not blame you should you choose not to extend it to me after what I have done.
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[ he kinda gets it—it's part of why he never left his own god, after all. normally, he'd respect it... but his feelings toward ishi are kind of complicated right now. compartmentalizing has never been his strong suit.
all of that white noise in his brain clears, though, when he gives a quizzical look then takes ishi's hand in his own. ]
... The fuck?
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[he needed merriment's ability to break curfew, though; fond as ishi is of him, he didn't mean to stay.
but he gives majima an apologetic look as he takes his hand, hesitating a moment.]
... I lost it in the fight with Luna. I don't know how it ended up where it did-- she may have been trying to use her ability to pin multiple deaths on me, I think-- but... that is the other thing I have been hiding from you.
I never expected to actually be able to hide it through that trial, much less long enough for someone to make me a replacement. There wasn't a way to explain without admitting how it was lost.
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Holy shit. You're the one who was checkin' hands that trial. Ya sly son of a bitch.
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... I do believe that should be everything, though.
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[ there's a lot to unpack, between the secrecy and the lies that have come to light. it's true that majima's own code of honor does not involve ending the life of other people... but in this case, what's the right call? does having a hand in murdering a murderer absolve one of any wrongdoing?
it's clear that he's doing a lot of thinking, but there's an almost surprising lack of tact when he breaks his silence and asks, ]
Is this sorta thing normal to ya 'cause you're a sword? 'Cause you were created with the intent to kill people?
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... I am not sure I would call it normal for me, though it would be for most of us, yes. I hate killing-- I was enshrined for most of my existence, and was dedicated to healing, to cutting away what plagued those who visited the shrine. If it were possible to save everyone, if I had that sort of power... I wouldn't let anyone die.
[his brow furrows there.]
But neither can I deny what I am, or what I was made for. I hate killing, but I will do what is necessary; I have had to do so before coming here, as well. I've experienced war.
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on the other... majima cannot disparage him for staying true to his ideals, for doing what he believes in—in this case, the greater good—rather than what's "right." he could have easily said no and exposed ishi as soon as they had stepped behind the screen together. ]
I dunno what ya want me to say, Ishikiri-jisan.
[ at the very least, there is no bitterness in his voice. if anything, he just sounds... tired. ]
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[ishi shakes his head, there, glancing back up to majima.]
I do not expect your trust-- I have not admitted all of this to you solely in hopes of gaining it back. That is all up to you, and I will not blame you should you choose not to extend it to me after what I have done.
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As long as Mizuki trusts ya—[ whoa, no nickname or honorific ]—I will, too.
[ he takes a deep breath. ]
Just don't pull that shit again, ya hear? Ya might lose more than a hand if ya cross me twice.